First things first, if you liked the HBO show THEN YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE THIS FRANCHISE! I mean come on, son… this is kind of your fault.
So many smart, amazing ladies in my life have complained about how much they disliked this movie and how much it sucked and how much they can’t believe they actually paid $$ to see it. My question to them is “and you’re telling me this because…?” Are you being serious? Of course it sucks. Did you forget about the previous one? That one sucked too. This shit does not get magically better. The characters are 1 dimensional but wait you knew that because you loved the tv show. The plot is razor thin and the “humor” features lines like “I guess we’re not in Kansas anymore” but wait you knew that too. Riiiight?
I went to see this movie precisely because it is THAT terrible. and my favorite people in the world to watch movies with would be there (thanks ann! thanks brandon! thank pinot noir!) and then I could make fun of people who were “disappointed” by it.This is a movie you go see just so you can *headdesk* later. THERE’S NO COMPLAINING IN BASEBALL!
Things I want to discuss include:
- The fashionz. Ok Miranda’s gay
minstrel showwedding outfit was amazing! and I don’t even know how this is possible but she stylistically carried this movie for a hot second. Samantha’s red spiked number at karaoke is also full of win ($5K by special order, bitches!) Carrie on the other hand is dressed like a dick head (STUDDED JEANS WHAT?!) - Miranda Hobbes: total character castration. Also who the fuck quits their job in this economy? UGH And that whole scene where she is “bonding” with Charlotte= MAJOR VOMZ. Dear Charlotte, if you don’t have a job, AND you have a doting husband who loves you AND does everything you want AND you have the perfect nanny then yes, maybe you’re kind of a failure if you can’t handle your kids. The hash tag #firstworldproblems was invented for that scenario “Oh me! Oh my! Miranda how do you think women without help handle life?” SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FACE NOW!
- Class warfare= problematic and woefully unacknowledged in this movie. DUH
- No offense to Liza Minelli but um if you’re using Single Ladies in your movie in 2K10 then maybe your movie is no longer culturally relevant. Just sayin’
- Librul abaya-clad Arab Feminists= TOO MUCH TO HANDLE
- Mr Big, please stop telling Carrie she is not like other women. What’s so special about her? She is just as annoying and nuts as all the other women in your hollywood life. Also the whole idea of taking 2 days off for yourself, I was totally on board for that. But you want 2 days off to watch TV and put your shoes on the couch, she wants 2 days off to write vogue articles and kiss ex boyfriends. ALSO WHO REWARDS SOMEONE WHO KISSED THEIR EX BOYFRIEND WITH JEWELRY?!
- Samantha condom-shame souk scene= AMAZING. Thank you.
My brain is seriously on fire. White people, I feel bad for you because the level of white shame this movie induces is of epic proportions. Get your shit together and stop doing this to yourselves. Also let’s all read this, OK?
